If you’re one of the first people to go to the moon on a passenger rocket and the captain doesn’t say “Where we’re going we don’t need roads” then you’ve wasted your money.
You tell me you don’t have favourites but you let me suffer for months while you won’t let him suffer even for a moment.
It use to be little things like me not eating because you favoured him more so you gave him my food, or how you gave him all of you attention and I would receive your anger at the best of times.
It escalated the day you decided I did not like being touched so you never hugged me. May 2013 was the last time you hugged me. Yes, I remember because before that, I couldn’t even recall the last time anyone hugged me.
You forced me in to a career path I did not want, so when I finally stood up to you, you sent me on another horrible one and the worst part is that you emotionally blackmailed me because you knew I was so desperate for your attention and I paid for it, emotionally and financially, now having a hex debt of over $10, 000.
Now I can’t do what I want or work somewhere I even sort of like because you blew everything and was stupid enough to throw all your eggs in one basket. Yes, others let us down recently but I’m surprised you didn’t see it coming.
I can’t even go anywhere because once again, you emotionally blackmailed me and now you owe me so much money, I’m broke and you don’t even have plans of paying me back. You don’t, you pretend not to remember for ages when I ask you for even some of it back.
About this time last year, I had applied for jobs four hours away and got one, packed up my bags and was halfway there when you called and said one thing that wasn’t even that nice and because I’m so desperate for your attention, I came home. I actually ran away and planned things for about a month. See the hold you have on me? I hate it.
And all this cancer shit has made me so upset, imagine if we actually loved the person going through it? How much more messed up would we be right now? How much more emotional blackmail will I take from you?
You dump all your problems on me, but you’re my biggest problem.
If I didn’t have these stupid commitments for the next six months, I would be gone in a heartbeat never to return or call because even though it is cruel, you need to be emotionally blackmailed. This relationship is going nowhere and I’m not sticking around to loose you when you’re sick, I’ll leave you now and remember you healthy and how I admire you in a sick, twisted way because you are poisonous to me.
When prople adk how my fsmily and I are going I just say fine. It’s better than yhem seeing me cry and technically my can be doing fine up in heaven
Like wildflowers; You must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.
So tragedy struck my family a few months ago so I haven’t told them, but I’ve been having heart problems for about six weeks now. They aren’t bad but have just recently gotten worse. I don’t want to tell them incase it is something severe.
I’ve told myself to suffer in silence as to not alarm anyone and jus keep going with the pain. I don’t want my family or myself going through so much pain even when it turns out to be not so serious.
My biggest problem is however, I will not complain until I can’t take anymore. I suffer in silence until almost the end. Most people don’t understand this about me and just think I complain as soon as something happens.
I just felt like I needed to tell someone and even if no one sees this, I still feel better getting this off of my chest.